[Image created with ChatGPT (OpenAI) using prompts by Heather Smith.]
Where Have All the Twin Flame Employers Gone?
Paula Cole once asked, “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?” about longing for the ideal partner, only to realize the reality fell short. Released in 1996, the song sparked controversy because many listeners misunderstood it. Cole intended it as feminist commentary on gender stereotypes and the myth of the cowboy as hero. Still, some took it literally — believing it was about a woman yearning for a man to rescue her.
That disconnect between intent and perception feels a lot like the career search. I find myself asking a similar question: Does the “twin flame employer” really exist, or are we all chasing something we’ve romanticized?
The Three-Year Search
It’s been nearly three years since I began searching for the right fit. Within the first month of my last role, I knew it wasn’t aligned. What had been promised and what was expected were two very different things. My expertise was micromanaged, my judgment questioned, and my contributions recycled back to me as if they hadn’t been mine in the first place.
It was gaslighting at its finest. The upside? That experience gave me clarity — I now know exactly what I don’t want in a role, and just as importantly, what I do. I want collaboration, trust, and respect for expertise. That clarity has guided my search ever since.
Am I Glamourizing the Perfect Employer?
Some days I wonder: am I like Paula Cole, longing for a cowboy that never existed? Maybe. But I’ve realized that a “twin flame employer” isn’t about perfection. It’s about alignment — shared values, mission, culture, and mutual respect.
Because the right employer doesn’t just hire you, they see you.
What I Don’t Want
Through countless interviews, applications, and conversations, I’ve seen too many organizations fall into familiar traps:
- Checkbox hiring — requiring niche degrees for digital marketing roles instead of recognizing martech as its own discipline.
- Tool = talent thinking — assuming someone needs to “major in Salesforce” to be effective. Platforms are tools; expertise is knowing how to connect, scale, and humanize them.
- “Anyone can do digital” — handing complex strategy to interns or assuming social media equals digital leadership. Creativity is essential, but true strategy takes years of pattern recognition and restraint.
What I Do Want
My version of a twin flame employer looks different. They:
- See digital strategy, UX, and martech as disciplines — not tasks.
- Value mission and culture fit as much as technical skill.
- Respect balance, understanding that burnout doesn’t lead to brilliance.
- Credit expertise relatively, building collaboration instead of competition.
The Bigger Question
So I circle back to the beginning: Does the twin flame employer exist?
Maybe it’s less about finding perfection and more about finding resonance—the one who sees both the science and the soul in the work.
And maybe — just maybe — writing this is part of calling that employer in.
✨ That’s why I’m committing to a 30-day sprint of sharing insights on digital strategy, UX, web leadership, and balance. Not to prove myself — but to show, transparently, what I bring to the table. Because if my twin flame employer is out there, I want them to see me.
👉 What do you think? Does the twin flame employer exist? Or are we all singing about something we rarely find?